Evolution?

I've always thought that relationships could evolve along with the people in them.  That when you start out with someone, over time you change, the person (or people) in the relationship with you changes, and therefore, by transitive property, the relationship changes.


I still think that's true, but I'm realizing now that all parts of the relationship don't evolve equally.  It seems obvious now that I'm trying to write it down for you, but SURPRISE! only the parts you work on and talk about evolve along with you!  The parts you ignore remain stagnant -- locked in one time point -- even though you and your partner may have moved past that time point long ago.


Funny how you are so busy talking about everything else in your life that sometimes you forget to talk about small stuff...  How easily the small stuff turns into big stuff when you're not paying attention.


It starts out innocent enough.  You and your partner are a team.  You each have to make sacrifices.  So, you sacrifice little things like social events so your partner doesn't feel anxious and you don't have to go alone.  Eventually, you're not sacrificing social events because you're not invited -- your circle of friends is very small and getting smaller.  You say you don't mind, you don't miss it, but when you do get a chance to go let your hair down you recognize the lie in that statement.  You DO miss it.  You need an outlet.  You enjoy being around more people, being silly, and over indulging!  Maybe there are more things you miss?  Or don't even know you are missing?




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I don't know...we're learning about ourselves and growing into these new emotional people, but I need to also explore the positive emotions!  We spend a LOT of time exploring and learning about how the sad emotions feel.  I want to spend a little bit of time figuring out what happiness feels like!  I also want to enjoy life!


I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.  But, a video blogger I like to watch recently said that we learn more by getting involved in someone else's process rather than just by receiving facts.  So, here you have it.  This is my process.


(PS, if you're interested, this is the video blog.  It's a really good video if you have time to watch.)






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On this same topic, I have a question for you -- and for some reason, I wrote this one in a british accent.  Imagine this in the voice of Dan Is Not On Fire.   


Can a relationship's evolution take a quirky path and go from an awkward, uncomfortable sexual relationship into an intimate friendship?  Imagine if you will, an intimate friendship that was going along swimmingly until someone said, "woah, this is awesome!  we should add sex!"  Then it got totally awkward and someone said, "ugh, this is awkward!"  Any chance the relationship, if the two people actually cared very much for each other, could then evolve into a great friendship?